She Ain’t Your Competition, Sis.
Don’t Forget you are still “That Girl!”
– The Co•Wife Coach
Until one day, it all came to a head.
It was a normal Tuesday evening when the smallest of comments—a simple, harmless observation from Chris—set her off. He mentioned how Lillie made an incredible meal, and that was all it took. Natalie felt like her heart was under siege. She stormed out, feeling like she’d lost some imaginary competition she hadn’t even signed up for.
Hours later, after cooling off in her car, Natalie realized something. This battle, this imaginary race with Lillie—it wasn’t real. Chris didn’t marry her because she was a clone of Lillie. He loved her for her own unique qualities. The pressure, the weight of trying to measure up to someone else’s standards, was entirely self-imposed.
That night, Natalie vowed to stop measuring herself against someone else’s yardstick. Instead of seeing Lillie as competition, she started viewing her as someone she could learn from. She started focusing on her strengths, her contributions, and how she showed up in her marriage. Because the truth was, they were both on the same team, even if it didn’t always feel that way sometimes.
The Takeaway:
In polygyny, it’s easy to fall into the comparison trap. But comparison is the thief of joy. You are enough, just as you are. Focus on your unique strengths, your growth, your beauty, and what you bring to the table. Don’t waste energy comparing your journey to someone else’s—embrace your individuality and lean into your strengths.
Natalie could feel the tension before she even walked into the room. Her co-wife, Lillie, was sitting on the couch, laughing with their husband, Chris, and from where Natalie stood, it looked… effortless. She wondered how Lillie always managed to look so put together while she felt like she was barely holding it together.
The truth?
Natalie had spent weeks comparing herself to Lillie. Every conversation, every outfit, every meal. Was she funnier than me? Prettier? More in tune with Chris needs? These thoughts became like white noise in the background of Natalie mind, slowly eating away at her confidence. She was forgetting that she is still “That Girl!”
Don’t Forget you are still “That Girl!”
– The Co•Wife Coach
Until one day, it all came to a head.
It was a normal Tuesday evening when the smallest of comments—a simple, harmless observation from Chris—set her off. He mentioned how Lillie made an incredible meal, and that was all it took. Natalie felt like her heart was under siege. She stormed out, feeling like she’d lost some imaginary competition she hadn’t even signed up for.
Hours later, after cooling off in her car, Natalie realized something. This battle, this imaginary race with Lillie—it wasn’t real. Chris didn’t marry her because she was a clone of Lillie. He loved her for her own unique qualities. The pressure, the weight of trying to measure up to someone else’s standards, was entirely self-imposed.
That night, Natalie vowed to stop measuring herself against someone else’s yardstick. Instead of seeing Lillie as competition, she started viewing her as someone she could learn from. She started focusing on her strengths, her contributions, and how she showed up in her marriage. Because the truth was, they were both on the same team, even if it didn’t always feel that way sometimes.
The Takeaway:
In polygyny, it’s easy to fall into the comparison trap. But comparison is the thief of joy. You are enough, just as you are. Focus on your unique strengths, your growth, your beauty, and what you bring to the table. Don’t waste energy comparing your journey to someone else’s—embrace your individuality and lean into your strengths.
